If Happiness Had A Gender, It'd Be A Boy.

Monday August 5, 2013 11:40 P.M.

                Hey you.

                I’ve had some sort of breakthrough. Frankly, I’m disappointed in the type of book this is turning out to be. Anyone can write a book about depression and isolation. So what if I’m an underdog? People love a good underdog story, and they especially love it when the underdog makes a comeback. I’ve gotta give the people what they want.

                That’s not to say I won’t have sad days. But how unbearable would it be to read a pessimist’s’ diary? After a nice pep talk from mama E I’ve decided I need to make some changes. Mama E says positivity attracts positivity. She also gave me some good advice about being content with being alone and not relying on things and people to make me feel whole. I guess sometimes you just need someone to remind you of things you already know in order for it to truly sink in.

                It was a pretty average day. I worked the morning shift with Italy (who again reminded me why he’s nothing more than eye candy when he used the word ‘like’ over 1,000 times in a sentence). Then I deposited some checks, came home, snacked, made dinner, and watched a movie. The movie was about a writer. It left me feeling inspired. Writing truly is my passion, yet I’m too passive with it. I don’t cherish it like I should. In some weird way I know God has given me this one talent as a gift. I don’t yet know what he wants me to do with it, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out in time.

                It’s another one of those nights where I’m sitting amongst the crumpled sheets of my bed. I’m filled with childlike joy at having recently discovered the fact that the parking meter (bought from an auction) I was given as a quirky Christmas gift – is in working condition. I don’t know what possessed me to, but I found a nickel in spare change and dropped it the slot and turned the dial. I smiled so big I nearly split my face in two when I heard the soft ticking of the timer.

                If happiness had a gender it’d be a boy:

                Let me explain. It’s odd that we can find joy in the simplest of things. Things that we aren’t looking to get happiness out of. It’s as if the more we crave happiness the less attainable it is. Happiness is the disinterested, uncommitted boyfriend and I’m the overly attached girlfriend. Happiness thinks I’m too needy and I have to agree.

                In other news a customer that came in on Sunday afternoon complimented me on my nose ring; saying (and I quote) “I like your nose ring. It looks cute on you.” Laugh if you want, but I tucked that compliment in my swoon reserve for when I’m not feeling my best. A little compliment goes a long way.

                I think this job is helping me improve my confidence. I have to speak loudly, work quickly and efficiently all while being cute and cheerful. I think I do a pretty damn good job if I may say so myself. Self-esteem boost +3.